Missing Wife Joke
A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:
Man: I lost my wife (misty eyes)
Inspector: What is her height
Man: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Man: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Man: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Man: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was she wearing
Man: Saree/suit/ I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with her ?????????
Man: Yes my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the man started crying…..
Inspector: Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!! !
WIFE WANTED - VERY FUNNY
A news paper had a humour page with following matrimonials published in it.
BANKER:
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
CAR MECHANIC:
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average.
DOCTOR:
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage.
I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.
DRUNKER:
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home.
Friends come home only seven times a week.
Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar-bar.
Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.
LAWYER:
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage.
The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl.
The girl should be strictly a girl.
The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord I.
Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained.
Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.
SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features (privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .
There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her.
LowBugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She Must not be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.
